Days 13-18 - Lack of Motivation and Being Sick

I fell into a rut with my last blog, and I really don't want that to happen with this one. I think I need this to keep my focus on bettering my life. Sabrina, I know you read this, so GET ON MY CASE when I don't blog haha. If anyone else reads, please do the same.

I've been in another bout of throat infection the last few days. I can't even tell you how many times I've had to be on antibiotics for my throat in the last year. It's actually getting really ridiculous. I can't keep missing work because of it. I really just want to get my tonsils taken out and be done with all of this, but apparently you have to have 6 positive throat swabs in a year for a doctor to be willing to remove tonsils. Why?! I don't understand that.

I've been spending a lot of time with Jay too. I have a lot of fun with him, and I don't think I've laughed so much in a while. It's a welcome change, that's for sure. I'm really looking forward to seeing where things go with us. I've been let down a few times, so part of me is being a bit reserved just out of...instinct? Regardless, I think things will be really good with him. I'm tired of seeing and experiencing relationships that don't have a whole lot of meaning. I need this to be different so I don't become too jaded.

I had a bit of a scare tonight while driving, that's not only made me really on edge, but has also made me think about safe driving.

I was stopped at a red light on 180th and #10 hwy. There was an SUV in front of me (who I'd met at a stop sign a few streets before and let turn in front of me) waiting to go straight. This silver hatchback was just flying down #10. His light turned amber and he wasn't slowing down. Turned red and he still wasn't slowing down. At that point, I grabbed my phone ready to call 911 in case there was an accident. So my light turned green and the SUV started going into the intersection. My stomach clenched into the biggest ball. The hatchback would have completely demolished that SUV (he was going at least 90-100km/hr) if he'd started going straight just a second sooner. After the car sped through the red, the SUV just stopped in the intersection. I made sure he was fine and went on my way. I'm so on edge right now. For a couple seconds, I honestly thought I was going to see someone die.

I'm not a reckless driver by any means, but there's been times where I could have stopped, but didn't, or did go too far over the speed limit. I don't want my life to be taken by something so easily preventable, and I couldn't live with myself if I took someone else life because of an accident that didn't have to happen.

I'm going to remember tonight any time I think I can make that amber light, or anytime I look down and see myself going faster than I should. I can't afford not to.

I need to start going back to the gym too. I can't get enough motivation with working out at home. I want to FEEL gorgeous and not just hear people tell me that I am. 

Goodnight, everyone.