Days 49-60 - 2 month mark

Alright, so today is 60 days since I started this blog and my posts have been very sporadic lately. It bums me out knowing that I'm slacking, but I've had such a hard time getting the motivation to write anything in here. I also haven't been reading much at all the last while, so I think that may be part of the reason.

I don't think I've changed much in 2 months, other than the fact that I have realized that I need to trust others' judgments over my own sometimes.

I was lonely and jumped into a relationship, much like a lot of people do. The best idea? probably not, but it was a very temporary "fix" to the loneliness. I will say that he and I had a few fun days, but a couple weeks in, I felt more like an ATM and chauffeur than a girlfriend. Definitely not how a relationship should be, not to mention only 2 weeks in. I was feeling quite used. I've only ever "ended" things with someone once before, so I was quite hesitant at first, even though I knew it was something that I needed to do. I wasn't happy and I found myself thinking about how life would be if I was single or in some amazing relationship. I consulted a couple friends and got the same response from them all. Jay and I were only dating for just over a month, thankfully, but working up the courage to break up was tough. One afternoon, after I'd distanced myself for a few days prior, I decided that now was the time, or I'd just keep putting it off. I hate confrontation. After everything was said and done, he sent me the rudest text I have ever received from someone. I'll paste it here just because I know only a few of you read this, and you're probably curious anyway;

"Whatever, I have other girls. I don't give a fuck. One goes and another one is ready to walk in. I'm glad you brought it up because I didn't want to be with you anyway. All my ex's are hot and skinny. I'm better off with them."

3 hours later after no response from me: "Plus, you were just a tissue that I used and chucked."

Believe it or not, that came from someone who not even a week earlier had told me that he loved me. I am so glad I never said it back to him because those 3 words are something I save for someone who I do truly love. I wasn't emotionally distraught about the breakup, but getting that text made me so upset. I deserve so so much better than that and I am a better person without him in my life. I only hope that I can find someone who I am truly compatible with. Who I can love and share the greatness of life with. I want love, passion and that sparkle in my eye. Not a man who tries to control me and constantly asks me for money. What was I thinking!?

Aside from that lovely drama, I've been really into something called The Myers Briggs test. It's a test of about 70 questions. It evaluates your answers and provides you with one of sixteen personality types. I am an ENFJ. Reading up on my type and talking with other ENFJ people in certain forums really helps me understand myself. I'm glad that someone introduced me to this.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

That's the link if anyone wants to figure their type out. Let me know what your type is, if you do! I'm interested!

I booked my holidays at work. Still waiting on the "approval," but I don't think there'll be a problem since I submitted it 3 months in advance. If all goes well, I'll have December 22nd until January 8th off of work. My little niece will hopefully be born in that time frame. I love the holidays and the thought of not spending it with family kind of sucks!

The Canucks NOR the Lions are doing very well right now, but for the NHL, this is just the beginning. I'm not sure if the Lions will make it to the Grey Cup next month. Always next year.

Well, I'm not sure what else to write here. It's 2am and I'm a bit tired. I think I'll finish watching "Rent" on Bravo and hit the sheets. One more day off tomorrow and then back to work Monday-Friday. Good stuff.

Hope everything is well with whoever is reading this!