Day 5 - Life's Bummers

Alright, so aside from learning how to be more productive with my time, I've learned today that I need to figure out a way to deal with the disappointments that life throws my way in a more...embracing way.

I will admit that I've grown a lot in this respect in the last few years. Deep down, I know that there isn't any good reason to be depressed or mopey about the things that don't go how I'd have liked them to. However, that still doesn't take the sting of disappointment away. Not by a long shot. In some strange way, I think I ENJOY feeling the sting of disappointment...maybe because it reassures me that I'm still a normal human being? Who knows. I've always known that I let myself "fall" for people, or develop feelings for people far too easily. It's been the root of quite a few hermit-like days, that's for sure. This time, it feels different. I'm upset, yes, I've let out a few little tears, yes, but not because things didn't "work out" (at least that's not the full reason), but more so because I know that this person is in a tough time and I want so badly to be there and help. I let myself develop feelings for someone knowing full-well that I wasn't in a relationship and that things may in fact not work out. That's nobody's fault but my own.

I will get over whatever I need to get over, and I'll move on and be happy. I just got too excited about someone starting to breaking my wall down. I always cherish times I've had with people, no matter if they were good or bad times...because I end up learning from it all in one way or another. I can't hold a grudge, not in the least. I just wish I'd have been a bit more reserved and less...free spirited? Who knows. I'm a grown up, I'll live :)